Sunday, 15 August 2010

Proudly British-American

or American-British I don't mean to suggest anything by the way I order it I simply like the sound better when its British-American. Anyhow I've been here a bit more than six months and while I've regarded England as home I now truly feel British and American of course ;).

Yesterday Ross, Helena, Robbie and I all went out for drinks at Detroit in Covent Garden. It was so nice to see them all and chat. Robbie and Helena headed off around 10 or so, or maybe later I honestly was not looking at a clock. Ross and I stuck around a bit longer and finished off some nice red wine then I suggested we go dancing. I had lots of fun in the club with him just being a goof and enjoying my last night with my best friend. On the way to the bus we started to pass by some blokes and I just randomly stopped and looked at one of the guys and said something like "O, my god! I'm so glad I ran into you" and he said something like "I'm really glad I ran into you as well" and we just had a rather exaggerated lil banter which amused me to no end. We shook hands, introduced ourselves then went on our separate ways. Ross and I caught the night bus back to his where I proceeded to talk his ear off for several hours till at 4am Ross finally was crashing and needed to sleep. I let him go and stayed up. I ended up not going to sleep, I was just thinking about too much. I'd already spent a good portion of our chat in the wee hours crying leaving quite a wet patch on Ross' shirt. Poor lad :p.

I was really sorry to say goodbye to the flat as it is not unlikely Ross will move out of it before I come back to London again. That flat was more my home then the place I lived in full time. I had kept musli in the cupboards, wondered about in Ross' robe and memorized the way to both of the near by tube stations. I cried some more than Ross and I headed off for a bit of breakky. I enjoyed some scrambled eggs and sausage and more talking with Ross. He walked me to the tube station and hugged me for a very long time before setting me off onto the tube. I walked through the barriers and turned for a final wave and started crying all over again.

I initially thought about this day when I'd have to say goodbye to Ross for awhile and was sure I'd cry. But I thought I was going to cry because I was still so much in love with him and I didn't want to leave him and go 8,000 mi away. Then mid July we got together for drinks and we just didn't seem to have a flow of conversation so afterwards I thought perhaps I wouldn't be too upset after all. As it turns out I was going through the normal motions putting Ross into a new category, the friend category. And it worked. Being able to see him so much in August, first with my sis then going to Google London for a free lunch with him and then my leaving do really helped cement a good friend ship. So in the end I didn't cry for the reasons I thought I would. I cried because Ross has been a massive part of my life these last 6months and he has led me on a path which has caused great change for me. I really feel like I'm going back an adult. A strong confident adult. And when Ross gave me a peck goodbye at Fullham Broadway it felt like the close to a chapter in my life. I'm surprised it has all happened so quickly. I still remember our first date, meeting his parents and so much more. I'm excited for all the new things that are going to happen and where they will lead. I expect to travel much more and hopefully back to London not so long from now for a longer more permanent stay. Ross said to me " I'm glad you're a daft cow that decided to fly half round the world for me" or something to that effect and I am too. He was worth every single mile and then some. I'm gutted to leave but I know being in California to get my degree is the best choice.

Now I'm up north in Chorley with my lovely cousin Franny, her beautiful son Seth, her mum and dad (my aunt and uncle) and her boyfriend. It is a full house so I'll probably move on to somewhere just not sure where yet. My great Aunts big do is this Friday which ought to be loads of fun. Next Wednesday is my friends wedding and then I fly to California on the 26th.

Not much else to say. Cali friends and family am looking forward to seeing you loads. To London and my wonderful London friends thank you for an incredible journey that will stay with me for my life time.

Excuse me I need to cry some more now. I'm glad to be so gutted to go. It means I've spent 6mo truly living and loving mostly everything. I'd rather cry enough tears to fill a barrel then to feel apathetic.

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