Tuesday, 17 August 2010



Firstly that movie was bloody brilliant. Just loved it the whole way through. But if you're thinking I'm on here to write a movie review you are mistaken.

Firstly lets go back to any time when I was at a theme park prior to yesterday. I'd go to the theme park with my friends and would enjoy my time by riding any ride but the large roller coasters. You see I have a fear of falling rapidly to the ground. Just looking at a roller coaster would set in a panic. My chest would tighten, I'd shake my head and refuse to get on. Yesterday I looked at the roller coasters and didn't feel anxiety, I felt intrigued, even a bit tempted. To be honest I stood in line with the others yesterday for two roller coasters and almost got on. But it wasn't the anxiety that stopped me because I didn't feel that anxious, it was the memory of the anxiety I didn't want to betray. a bit later in the day I did go on one roller coaster. It wasn't one of your standard sized ones it was somewhere between the kiddie coasters and the full grown ones. Never the less it did have a steep slope that was about first floor height (2nd floor by American standards) but that didn't worry me, it made me excited. So I rode the coaster got the appropriate anxiety and screamed it out. Afterwards I was energized and felt like I'd not really pushed it far enough, I wanted to try a bigger one. But before we got the chance the crash came. Because once your brain starts firing off like crazy due to the anxiety inevitably there is a crash in energy, how big I think depends on quite a few things. For me I was still dealing with the low of saying goodbye to a part of my life; a person I wasn't really ready to part from. So for me the crash came large and I wasn't in control so I not only lost that excess energy I sunk deeper.

Now to bring you back. After the movie tonight I was in the loo and I flash to that moment on the coaster, right before the fall and I recognized the anxiety I felt then was the anxiety I had felt for the last ten minutes of the movie. Then I recognized the high of energy I was feeling in that loo was because that anxiety in the movie and that is when it all changed. Anxiety had shifted from being a thing of fear, a thing to obey and be over come by to a thing to relish and seek out. I wanted to get on a big roller coaster and feel that anxiety just to get the energy high afterwards. Does this mean now that when I'm in a job situation and I start feeling anxious that instead of closing down I'll thrive knowing my brain is firing off chemicals and I'm being given a super energy of sorts. A super energy that could be utilized to power through the difficult situation and come out victorious. So what happens when all your life anxiety has been negative and then you turn it into a positive? I don't know but I'm going to find out. I know I'm going back a few inches taller than I came. I know I understand quite a few things but that those things are disorganized and missing pieces. By getting the degree I'll fill in those gaps and organize those pieces.

Yesterday I closed a 6 month chapter in my life. I didn't want to close that chapter yet for many reasons. One is that I know when I go home I'm going back very differently than when I came and its going to change all the future decisions I make. That sort of massive change is a lot to contend with. Secondly it makes the reality of the end of my relationship with Ross much clear and more real. That last night out with Ross he held me in his apartment as a friend while I cried and cried. That kiss goodbye at the station was a kiss on the lips as a friend and it was a kiss goodbye to the past. At least that was what it felt like to me. As I took that last look at him it was goodbye to the person I came here as, goodbye to what I came for and hello to change and this big new world that had opened in front of me. that much emotion would make anyone at least sniffle a little it just happened to make me cry buckets as I'm a bit, extra special shall we say ;). I'm so proud to be the person I am now and I'm not even 23 yet. It means I'm in a very good place to grow and change from.

To think this whole adventure came about because the world I knew collided with Ross'; one day in a mall in San Francisco............

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Proudly British-American

or American-British I don't mean to suggest anything by the way I order it I simply like the sound better when its British-American. Anyhow I've been here a bit more than six months and while I've regarded England as home I now truly feel British and American of course ;).

Yesterday Ross, Helena, Robbie and I all went out for drinks at Detroit in Covent Garden. It was so nice to see them all and chat. Robbie and Helena headed off around 10 or so, or maybe later I honestly was not looking at a clock. Ross and I stuck around a bit longer and finished off some nice red wine then I suggested we go dancing. I had lots of fun in the club with him just being a goof and enjoying my last night with my best friend. On the way to the bus we started to pass by some blokes and I just randomly stopped and looked at one of the guys and said something like "O, my god! I'm so glad I ran into you" and he said something like "I'm really glad I ran into you as well" and we just had a rather exaggerated lil banter which amused me to no end. We shook hands, introduced ourselves then went on our separate ways. Ross and I caught the night bus back to his where I proceeded to talk his ear off for several hours till at 4am Ross finally was crashing and needed to sleep. I let him go and stayed up. I ended up not going to sleep, I was just thinking about too much. I'd already spent a good portion of our chat in the wee hours crying leaving quite a wet patch on Ross' shirt. Poor lad :p.

I was really sorry to say goodbye to the flat as it is not unlikely Ross will move out of it before I come back to London again. That flat was more my home then the place I lived in full time. I had kept musli in the cupboards, wondered about in Ross' robe and memorized the way to both of the near by tube stations. I cried some more than Ross and I headed off for a bit of breakky. I enjoyed some scrambled eggs and sausage and more talking with Ross. He walked me to the tube station and hugged me for a very long time before setting me off onto the tube. I walked through the barriers and turned for a final wave and started crying all over again.

I initially thought about this day when I'd have to say goodbye to Ross for awhile and was sure I'd cry. But I thought I was going to cry because I was still so much in love with him and I didn't want to leave him and go 8,000 mi away. Then mid July we got together for drinks and we just didn't seem to have a flow of conversation so afterwards I thought perhaps I wouldn't be too upset after all. As it turns out I was going through the normal motions putting Ross into a new category, the friend category. And it worked. Being able to see him so much in August, first with my sis then going to Google London for a free lunch with him and then my leaving do really helped cement a good friend ship. So in the end I didn't cry for the reasons I thought I would. I cried because Ross has been a massive part of my life these last 6months and he has led me on a path which has caused great change for me. I really feel like I'm going back an adult. A strong confident adult. And when Ross gave me a peck goodbye at Fullham Broadway it felt like the close to a chapter in my life. I'm surprised it has all happened so quickly. I still remember our first date, meeting his parents and so much more. I'm excited for all the new things that are going to happen and where they will lead. I expect to travel much more and hopefully back to London not so long from now for a longer more permanent stay. Ross said to me " I'm glad you're a daft cow that decided to fly half round the world for me" or something to that effect and I am too. He was worth every single mile and then some. I'm gutted to leave but I know being in California to get my degree is the best choice.

Now I'm up north in Chorley with my lovely cousin Franny, her beautiful son Seth, her mum and dad (my aunt and uncle) and her boyfriend. It is a full house so I'll probably move on to somewhere just not sure where yet. My great Aunts big do is this Friday which ought to be loads of fun. Next Wednesday is my friends wedding and then I fly to California on the 26th.

Not much else to say. Cali friends and family am looking forward to seeing you loads. To London and my wonderful London friends thank you for an incredible journey that will stay with me for my life time.

Excuse me I need to cry some more now. I'm glad to be so gutted to go. It means I've spent 6mo truly living and loving mostly everything. I'd rather cry enough tears to fill a barrel then to feel apathetic.

Sunday, 8 August 2010


Ug, I've come down with a cold of sorts and this does not make me happy. I'm attacking it vehemently with steam, cough syrup, gargling salt water, hot honey water, and rest. Go away, go away, go away!!! But that isn't very interesting.

Tuesday out with my sis was grand. We did quite a lot of walking and then quite a bit of resting. She was very tired and I was too so we took advantage of a restaurant and had a long lunch :D. We also walked through St. James park, Trafalgar Sq. and Covent Garden. We nosed in some shops along Carnby st and then met up with Ross at a pub called Victoria where we had some drinks before wondering to Chimes for dinner. I headed back to Windsor for the evening while my sister made use of Ross' couch which he so kindly offered (hehe, after I asked him). Then Wednesday it took me blinkin ages to get to Ross'. First one bus then transfer to another and then the tube and another bus. Got there in the end and then did the journey backwards. Got the case off at the airport, it was thankfully no more than 23kg, and away she went.

Thursday Louise and I went out to the local club and had quite a bit of fun dancing. She was naughty and snogged someone who was only 19! teehee. I refrained from snogging any random bloke, none of them took my fancy *sticks nose in air*. hehe.

Friday I packed up and headed to my Uncle Bernards.

Saturday I spent most of the day watching Ross play footie for charity. It was a 12hr event consisting of 29 games. I actually really liked the idea of it and would love to join. I just have to coincide visiting England with the event and also make sure I'm in some bloody good shape! Ha, I did take a break to have a milkshake with a new friend in Oxford Circus. Not much to report there. Nice gentleman starting up his photography business here in London. He grew up in Paris and hopes to establish himself internationally.

Today I saw my cousin Julia and her husband Chris for lunch. We had a nice natter then I needed to nap around four because I was quite tired. Other than that I love being at my Uncles because there is always yummy food here. Simple and tasty so that makes me very happy.

Trying to relax this week and beat this cold. Hopefully going to Google London where Ross can brag about the amazing lunches he gets for free! I'll report back on what I think of the food ;). I also here tales of a nice terrace and bean bag chairs, so looking forward to checking it out.

Saturday, 31 July 2010

up,up and away

I write to you all from Windsor UK. Windsor is home to the oldest inhabited castle in the world, just so you know ;).

So you want to know what happened last week. I spoke with Paul and TJ and in the end we decided I'd end my job Friday the 30th (yesterday) and they would buy me a plane ticket back to California for August the 26th. They would have happily given me the money for the ticket to use to live in London but I was already planning on coming back in December and it seemed a lot of effort to try and find a job to support myself for three months so Cali bound I am. In addition they give their nannies two weeks paid holiday but TJ said she would do 3 which is great because now I'm able to support myself as I bounce from friend and relative till I leave.

I arrived in windsor yesterday utterly shattered at 5 in the evening but managed to stay awake till 10. Took a wander through town then Louise's friend Mark came by and we played scrabble. All very good fun. Today Louise (yes she is the friend I'm staying with for a week) and I walked through Windsor and went into the various shops. Again I was quite tired around 2 but had some lunch and watched the movie Enchanted so now I feel much revived. My theory for why I've been soo tired is the massive emotional change I've made recently. While working there I believe I was constantly anxious. I became ocd about cleaning the kitchen and keeping the lounges tidying, worrying that when Paul would come home he'd be dissatisfied. Now don't be mislead they are a lovely family but living with them is very different entirely. Now that I'm not there I think my whole body has just breathed this sigh and has become very tired from buzzing like that all the time. Its like having jet lag, which is bizarre but there you go. Sure I'll adjust to relaxing and being on vacation pretty soon :).

Tonight is Taming of the Shrew at The Windsor Globe. Monday I may be getting into Windsor Castle for free to have a look around and Tuesday I get to see my sis again and wonder bout London. Wednesday I'll be sending her back to the states with my massive case (woohoo) and then not much more plans other than moving from place to place.

Well dinner now. Life is good and I am happy. So excited for what is to come and looking forward to all the challenges I have yet to face.

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Gotta stop running sometime

Ello, ello its been a little while. I'll start with the most recent event. Earlier today when I got home from being in London Paul asked "Are you going to clean the boys bathrooms?" Which I responded by saying "O, well I have". He then went on to tell me it didn't look like the bathrooms had even been touched and everything was still dirty. This made me rather irritated but I went and cleaned the bathrooms again. Then he came down a little while later and asked again if I was going to clean the bathrooms. To which I said " I have, twice now" he then went on to ask me if I just didn't like house work or if I wasn't good at it etc. I told him I didn't appreciate how he was speaking to me and I didn't think he was being constructive. In the end we were just in a yelling match in which I ended by saying "Don't worry, my contract is up Aug 10th and I'll be gone then" and he said " Well can you you leave next weekend?", "yes", "can you leave tonight?" "fine".

Wow that was intense. I then proceeded to call my lovely cousin Gabrielle and have a panic attack. Fortunately she stayed on the phone with me and got me to breathe regularly and calm down. She reminded me I was an adult and I needed to go and speak to Paul in a calm manner. She also told me it was best to not leave in a hurry tonight.

She was right. I've spent the last year or so running from who knows what, convincing myself it wasn't a problem I needed to face right now. Hm, anxiety is tricky that way, convincing you of things that are completely untrue! Running only led me to feel like a failure. Twice last year I had jobs which ended abruptly. Though in the case of the second job I did have a very good discussion with the boss. Even so I still had a restless uneasy feeling. I couldn't get over the fact that I kept dropping things suddenly; school,work,projects. I would leave it all to the wayside when I got anxious. I'm still unsure as to why this has happened more so in the last year, but there you go it has. Today I stopped that chain. I got myself to calm down and I went down stairs and told Paul "I was trying to do what you asked and when we were speaking earlier I wasn't trying to be defensive I was trying to solve the issue. I'm upset at how this turned out and I would prefer to speak with you and TJ tomorrow and just calm down this evening". Paul apologized for yelling and loosing his temper and said we'd work things out tomorrow and to not feel awkward tonight. So its resolved, we'll have a mature conversation tomorrow to work out the details. Currently I feel too exhausted to feel much of anything other than exhaustion but I know this has been a huge turning point for me and I'm very grateful for the experience.

I have eaten a tasty if not very healthy dinner and will be heading off to see Toy Story Three where I can bawl my eyes out and thus relieve some of this tension. Perhaps I'll stand on my head when I come home, hm.

In other news I have now seen two ballets!! I saw Giselle last weekend and Swan Lake just last Friday. I was more awed by Giselle and pulled into that story than with Swan Lake. While Swan Lake was beautiful I did not feel the same high that I got from watching Giselle which absolutely blew me away. Well next week Spartcus by the Bolshoi which I'm excited to see. Up till now I've been watching the Mikhailovsky troupe perform.

Otherwise I've applied to a few jobs in London, will likely apply to more. Trying to decide if I'll go home to Cali or move into London. Its a decision for another day. At any rate I've begun to make many lovely new friends and if I so choose to come back to London I know I can do it all again.

right, I’m sure I’m leaving some things out but my brains a bit jumbled and its time to go catch that film at the cinema :D
love you all

Sunday, 11 July 2010

Thank goodness for July

Ok, so while last post wasn't an exaggeration it was a lot of emotion and in a blog where the people reading this are far away and trying to get a sense of what I am doing here it probably came out sounding more awful than it actually is. No my job isn't terrible, I'm just bored of it and I'd like to try something new. I think when I posted last time I was dumping all my emotions of June on to the page and believe me there was a lot of tangled up messy emotions left over from that mentally exhausting month. As you know though I regret nothing in my life and I value all the difficult lessons I learnt and the energy I forced myself to exert in order to make new friends.

Now it is July and I am putting energy into many positive outlets. I am planning on courses to take for school in January. I am already formulating plans for my STA World Internship application which I won't actually apply for till I am finishing up school, so that gives me about 4 years to figure out why I am the perfect candidate, come up with a brilliant film for the app oh yea and learn how to shoot and edit video along with really polishing up my writing and grammar! All of that is fairly long term. Short term I've done preliminary applications for two catering companies but have not heard back quite yet. If neither of those work or if there isn't enough money in it to support myself I'll go ahead and start looking at Gumtree.com in August for some kind of retail job. I am excited at the possibility of living in London and having a different experience to the one I've currently been in. We shall see how that all pans out.

In other news my sister comes to visit in approximately two weeks!!!!! Can't wait to pick her up at Heathrow airport on the 23rd. She only stays a night but will be back on the 3rd for another night. So I'm really glad to see her. Amy is going off for 10-days by herself to Chile to visit her friend that moved there last December. Her flight leaves from Paris though so TJ has decided to take the kids and do a road trip in France. Hm they said Mandy went with them on vacations but it seems to be more convenient to leave me at home to take care of the dogs. Ho hum, I'll just keep going up to London and enjoying the quite. As much as I love kids I'm so very very very VERY glad I don't have any right now. More and more I'm loving being the age I am. I think your twenties are remarkable and in so many ways its like being a baby. Having all these incredible experiences for the very first time and seeing and feeling things you've haven't before. Its wonderful. The bonus though is you can articulate to yourself what these experiences are and what they mean to you. One of my firsts this month will be seeing Swan Lake, yay. I’m finally excited to go see a ballet, my first professional one. Well first professional classic ballet. I suppose Ballet Forclorico De Bahia is a ballet but that is capoeira so not quite the same. :D

In August I am excited to go to my Great Aunty Mon's 85th birthday, my cousin Frances' wedding AND my friend Guilia and Tenchi's wedding, all in a week of each other! I even have a hat to wear, how very English of me. :).

O yesterday was the village fete (think like 4th of July fair on a very small scale). I helped out a little but mostly got to wonder round looking at the stalls. There was a rowing competition which I competed in. Well sort of a rowing comp, it was on a rowing machine and there was a prize for the fastest female and male doing 500 meters. The first time I tried I did it in 2:15 then I came back toward the end of the fair and tried again. Despite my dress getting caught and loosing me a few seconds I got 2:05, beat my old score by 10secs!! And was bloody tired after that, I can tell you. Sore abs today! Worth it though as I won :D. I got a boat ride with the Clipper Themes for 2adults and up to 3kids. So I thought that a good prize. It also looks like I may have won this City Socialising competition and the prize for that is a spiffy new pair of ray band sunglasses, oooooo. After the fete we went to a festival with a bunch of cover bands. The last cover to go was a cover of U2. I got to shake Bono wannabes hand and I danced up on the big huge speaker that was adjacent to the stage :D. Lots of fun. Not much today, felt sluggish and tired. I woke up in my bedroom at 7am and I was stifling hot. It was very uncomfortable :(. Other than that lazed around today. Looking forward to next weekend, its filled with karaoke, meeting new people, seeing old friends and generally just enjoying life. Woohoo.

Last thing my friend Daryl who took photos of me in the cemetery last December is now compiling a photo book for a competition. Fingers crossed he wins! As excited as I am for him I get to feel all hoity toity because I will be in the book. I have two whole pages, hehe just like the other models but shhhh I'm in a book as a model how awesome is that?! I love life I really feel like I'm going to be able to say I did everything and then some.

well ta

Saturday, 3 July 2010

Square peg, round hole

I am the peg in this case and this job is the round hole. Its like if you asked an actor to be a construction worker. Most likely even if they tried their hardest they would make more mistakes than the other workers because they lack the skills to do the job. For me I like to have to travel to get to my job. I like the separation of work and home. I like the structure of regular hours and having set tasks. I do like variation and don't mind working longer than "normal" hours. With this job though its an odd mix of being part of a family and still being the employee. That just confuses my brain. I'm great with people at work but the relationships I establish with those people are a bit more about them and what I can do for them. I'll tell that other person enough about myself to establish a connection and then I'm more focused on who they are and what they need. This job almost requires you to establish a very personal relationship with those you are working for to make a true connection. But something I've seen about myself is that I struggle with personal relationships. I'm not even sure how to explain that because I don't fully understand it yet myself, I just know that with my friends sometimes I have difficulties but I never have problems with people from work. Now though, I live where I work so I spend all my free time getting out of here which means I've not actually spent much time with the whole family. There is slight disconnect. I like them all, they are lovely people but I've lived here about 5months now and I don't feel all buddy buddy with them. I don't feel like when I leave I'm going to make much of an effort to stay in contact with them. Understanding this though helps me feel less badly about myself. I have made several mistakes while being here. Nothing major but enough to make me feel badly about myself. Just yesterday TJ asked me to ring Jonnie's school to tell them he wasn't going in and to make up any excuse. I said ok but really didn't want to because I felt awkward about telling some women a lie about why Jonnie wasn't in school when its obvious that he didn't go because it was the last day. Then when TJ asked me later if I'd rung I froze and just said yea and no one picked up. So she rang and got an absentee line and told me not to lie to her. So then I felt awful for lying especially because its not in my nature to lie at all. Its things like that that keep happening. I'm just not being myself in this job which is hard because I like me when I'm well ME and I'm not being me here with this family which can be rather self deprecating. Now I could make the struggle to change myself to be someone that could do this job very well. I have the ability to, it isn't a difficult job but I don't feel like making that push. I've already challenged myself to change in so many other ways and I think this journey has always been a lot more about self discovery then it has been about doing a job well. I've worked half my life now and have always excelled at my jobs weather they were in my field or not and you know what, now is the time that I let myself be less than amazing at something and feel that it is ok. I've made more stupid mistakes than I can count in this simple job but I'm going to stop feeling so crappy about that. I'll stick through till December but hopefully will move family's in September to be in the city and I'll just enjoy life. I'm seeing it more as having a place to live and some pocket money to go out and have fun and enjoy a city I love very much. I'm not going to take this nanny period in my life very seriously because like I said its not really about the nannying its about me learning more about my self and life. The job I do is good enough, not spectacular and not poor and for a temporary thing that is just fine.

In other news I'm missing my friends. Its been hard growing so much mentally but not having the support of people you are close to. Sure I get on facebook and IM away but I'm tired of imming its not personal and doesn't make me feel like ive made a connection with them. I've exchanged words and garnered news on their life but there is no emotion or feeling really. I love the friends I'm making here but making a deep personal connection takes lots of time and when I leave I hope I've made at least several new friends. Perhaps not best friends but made enough of a connection with them to miss them when I go and to want to see them when I come back and to stay in contact with them when I'm gone. That is what I hope to do. But its all about setting the ground work and having some of those relationships not work out and fizzle away while others continue to grow. But its lonely with out a best friend or family that you know well. I adore my cousins out here but I've seen them what, all of maybe 3 or 4 times? Some of them more than that but I don't truly know my family out here. Which is part of why I am here in the first place. In the end like I've said I just feel like I'm all by myself and as much as I don't want to leave London it'll be a relief to be in California with people I've known for years. It'll also be nice to be back in a house with people that like food. Can not wait to eat something my mummy has cooked! She could make something as simple as tomato soup and I'd be in heaven because she takes the time to create the right balance of flavours and you just can't appreciate something as delicate as that enough. I love food and I hate the crap I eat here because TJ shops for four kids and every week there are two or so days with no food in the house because she loathes the shopping. There also ends up being too much red meat and fatty sausages. Sigh I'm going to eat so much good food when I come back! I'm going to need to find a job at whatever cc I'm at to foot my food bills. Haha.

Not sure what I'm dong today, finished off the yogurt I bought and hungry and not been paid yet and no one is home. Lame, haha. Basically want to go back to London but yesterday I had a hassle coming home due to my own fault which makes me feel less adventurous today. Hm, we'll see. I'm really feeling like dinner out with a friend but not sure who to ring up.

Right its 2pm and Ive done fuck all so far so I best get a move on or the day will be gone and I'll still be on this silly couch. Love you all.


Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Heart Break and big decisions

I'll start first with the heart break. On June 16th 2010 my good friend James Mangrum lost his battle to a rare form of cancer. The cancer started as a lump in his leg about 5 years ago, sadly this stopped him from entering the army post high school. I wish that had been the worst it had done. Later on it moved into his lungs and last year I visited him again in the hospital at UCSF. He was bright and funny that day. He regaled me of the tail of having a reaction to the morphine they had given him yesterday. Apparently he thrashed about and punched out at the nurses and doctors. He hadn't remembered any of this and just before I got there he said nurses kept standing at the door calling into him to see how he was feeling. He was mystified as to why they would not come in until his mum informed him of his bad behavior the day before. Tut, tut not so much morphine next time! After that he was suppose to have one last surgery to finally get rid of it all. That was the last information I had of the cancer. I thought it was gone, that the doctors at UCSF had fixed it like they were supposed to.

Going to the hospital that day was really the first time in awhile I had seen James since leaving high school. We had just lost touch as people do but when I found out he was in the hospital I had to go see him. He reached out to me and suggested we get together. So we had lunch a couple of times that year. He always insisted on paying because he was such a gentleman. He told me about his family in Alabama and said he'd take me out there sometime, he thought I'd really like it with the open country and the horses. Up to the last time I saw him he still had that wise cracking sense of humor and silly grin. I had such a great time reconnecting with him as young adults and a good friendship grew. I thought seriously about traveling with him a bit because I knew we'd have a great time. He was kind, thoughtful, opinionated, stubborn, funny, and all around wonderful.

I left for England without a care in the world not knowing I was actually saying goodbye forever to one person. I never thought he'd really die and when I saw my friends update on their facebook yesterday (Monday) morning I just shook my head, said "no,no,no" and burst into tears. I was in such shock the first half of the day I felt nothing and would cry intermittently. As the hours slipped away and the information sunk in I felt sick inside and I knew what I felt was heart break. I didn't know I'd grown so close to him but I had. I think what brought me closer to him was one time after we had started hanging out again he thanked me and told me I'd been the one person who had really been there through it all. After that I strove to provide him with company and happiness which led to a deeper connection. I was so touched he felt that I'd been there for him and I was all too glad to be there. I wish I could take back what's happened, I wish I could have my friend back but I know that if the cancer couldn't be cured its better he isn't alive still fighting an uphill battle.

My heart is there in Cali with his family and friends. A big thank you to my father who will attend his memorial this Friday in my place.

The other better news is that I have decided to return to California in December just after my birthday to enjoy Christmas with my family and start school in January. I'll go to a community college for two years then transfer to a university. I'm still pretty bent on coming back to London as soon as I'm able but I'll deal with the Community College hurdle first then start thinking about American Uni's in London or a study abroad etc. Lots of possibilities and many more with a degree. I'm looking forward to advancing my skills and challenging myself. Well that is all for now.
lots of love

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Brand new!

Ironing away and letting my mind wander and I slowly came to a realization that I think I've been formulating for awhile in bits and pieces. Now it’s like those pieces came together and suddenly I saw the picture.

One thing I told my therapist before Ross and I broke up was that I didn't need him but I wanted him. I did believe that but it wasn't entirely true. What I find now is that I did need him in my life as a boyfriend for that period as much as I needed him to break up with me when he did.

I find myself more grown up and settled. For so long I had a frenetic anxious energy that I carried about with me and that energy caused me to make impulsive decisions, have extreme ideas, and prevented me from being able to see what I really wanted to do. I came to a point after middle school where things got harder, I didn't know how to cope and I began slipping. What I began telling myself though I wasn't aware of it was that I couldn't do it. I couldn't do school, I couldn't save money, I couldn't do it and eventually I believed it. So if a task made me anxious I pushed it away. I managed to get a high school diploma without ever writing a paper longer than 2 pages or doing any substantial research for projects. After school I continued to decide things in extremes, either I wanted to do something now or I never wanted to do it. I "had" to do ____ because I thought that was what I was suppose to do. I pushed myself to try community college and then gave it up and was bent on trying to get a job that wouldn't require a degree because I was NOT going back to school. My life was just so clouded by this anxiety and I didn't see it even with all the wonderful therapy.

Then I came here and though for four months Ross was teaching me so much I wasn't very aware of it. I was partly using him to help me avoid having to make any real life decisions on my own. If I stayed with him I could move from this house as a nanny to London with him and get some kind of job. I wouldn't have to do things on my own and yet while I was with him I was starting to branch out and become a bit more independent but it wasn't till he let me go that I saw I was standing on my own two feet on solid ground. Not only that but that frenetic energy that told me I had to do something now or never was gone. The need to make instant decisions had disappeared and now I'm this brand new me; a me that had wanted to come out for a long time.

I am interested in going back to school. There are so many things I want to learn and do with my life. Something Ross said to me at one point was "I've always known what I've wanted to do and I find it hard to empathize with someone who isn't sure yet of what they want to do" I retorted " I know what I want to do, I want to help people". I'd never really said it out loud before I'd kind of hemmed and hawed between ideas but bam I said it and now I'm trying to figure out how to do that. My current thoughts are to get a degree in psychology and then get a job doing some type of therapy with youths. I liked the sound of Forensic Psychologist where you help rehabilitate offenders and do other various similar tasks. I'm not sold on any one idea but I do have a direction and now I'm just trying to figure out exactly how to execute it all. I don't feel ready to go back to California I really want to move into London to explore, learn and grow there, but that may not be the best plan for me. If any of you out there reading this have worked and gone to school simultaneously I'd love to hear about your experience. What your struggles were what method's you used to cope with the busy schedule etc. Any advice is more than welcome.

People tend to emulate qualities they admire in other people so I suppose by trying to emulate Ross' confidence I found my own and with that confidence I learned all that I just told you. I'm so excited now to experience the world as me and to continue to grow up and learn. I think the nannying thing has become less interesting to me than in the beginning because I want to challenge myself and I'm ready to take on those challenges. It has provided for an excellent place to grow away from my parents and California. It is also a good haven as I try to formulate a next step so I'm not knocking the job completely it has a lot of benefits that have been and still are important for me. Its just time for something new.

In other random news I told Amy yesterday I was going to paint my finger nails white with red crosses on them in lieu of the world cup and she then asked if I would do it for her so tonight its going to be a girly painting nails thing :). Tommorow I head off to Harlow for a relaxing weekend...well mostly relaxing there maybe some shouting at the telle screen, ;) I expect not to much though as we shall win. Teehee. Have a lovely week everyone and enjoy whatever it is you are doing!

Sunday, 6 June 2010

A change is gonna come

One way or another change comes into all of our lives. I personally find it best to not try and fight it too much. I re-read my last blog to remind myself of what I said. It hasn't been a week since that blog and I have many new thoughts and ideas and find myself in a different place than 5 days ago. Much has also happened and my brain has probably also been working in over drive just a bit as one does when you are processing something not so simple.

Last week as I mentioned I spent my hours in various states of either up or down. One thing I had decided though was to not mope about all weekend as that accomplishes nothing. So I went to google and typed "How to meet people in London", haha but it worked. I found a website called city socializing and signed up. Its a place where people can find events to go to with other people from the website. You can also create an event yourself and CS creates some larger events to really help everyone on the CS website to meet each other. So I signed up for an event of 35 people on Friday evening which was held at a bar called the Albert and Pearl in Islington. I was a bit nervous when I got there, we had a reserved room on the 1st floor. But as everyone is there to meet new people I got into the groove and started chatting round. I made pretty good friends with a very tall teacher called Matt. We chatted along with his friend Nile in the beginning then we wondered off and I met some various others who were all nice and in the end of the evening I was chatting with Matt again. Round 11pmish I had to head back to Victoria station to get the last train to Oxted. Christopher who I had met on the train coming into London earlier that evening was at Victoria after being out with other friends and rang me to see if I was heading home so we met up at the station. There was an 11:50 to Oxted that was just about to leave when I got there but Chris wanted to have a pint so I said no worries we'll catch the 12:23. Well turns out I had gotten train times confused and the 11:50 to Oxted WAS the last train. We asked a conductor what to do and he said "go to East Croyden and get off there". I tried to ask if there was a bus or something but he hurried us along as the train was about to leave so we jumped on. We got off at East Croyden and instead of finding a bus we went dancing till 3am which was an absolute blast. Afterwards we hopped over to his friends about a mile from the station where I crashed on the couch for a few hours while the rest of them chatted. Chris and I left around 5:30am and walked to the station and I was back home before 6:30. Quite a night, got a few more hours of sleep then was up getting ready for a picnic in Brixton (in SW London).

The picnic went well about 12 of us showed up for it. The dynamics were interesting. At first people were a bit cautious though nice. After a bit we started a game of footie (soccer) which I played 3min of very aggressively then was out of breath and a bit ill because I had just eaten :(. And after the game of footie everyone collapsed back on the blankets and you could just tell everyone had relaxed and we were just chatting as friends even though we had all met for the first time about 4 hrs ago. At 7p, 7 of us went on to another CS event in Covent Garden which was huge. Around 50 people showed up and it was quite loud. Had to shout to be heard which was a pity but I met quite a few nice new people there as well. So far I think the lot from the park I'll hang out with again, wouldn't be surprised if all of us actually get together again to do something. Then there was a very comical Irishman by the name of Paul I'll definitely hang out with again. He was the one person from the weekend with whom I really hit it off with. All in all I was well pleased with all the CS events I attended and I look forward to more.

Today (sunday) I just took myself out. Went for my 3.5mi walk just before it rained then went to Knole Park and took pictures of deer and had the life scared outta me when thunder clapped right over my head. After that headed to the movies. I ended up there about 1.5hrs early so I went to a near by Italian place for some drinks and a tomato soup. As I was sitting at the bar two ladies were chatting and I heard them mention the cinema so when one went off to the loo I asked the other what they were going to see and then we got chatting. In the end I walked off with both their numbers and the promise to have girly drinks sometime :).

Now Sunday evening a full week after things changed quite dramatically I find that I have in fact gained a lot more than I lost. Now that is no offense to Ross who as I have said is an incredible person. But the relationship wasn't really working out. We failed to truly connect for various reasons and it became more about me putting much more energy into it all than I really should have, which is what I do. Now I have the freedom and the energy back to do the things in life I want to. I've met so many people this weekend. I must have talked to at least 30 new people in 48hours. As my therapist has said I have to practice putting my eggs into multiple baskets. When I came here I put every egg into the Ross basket and didn't have any left for myself. Now I've got em all back in the me basket and I'm dolling them out. Some for my new friends. A few into the exercise basket and some into the job research basket etc. I feel I've come to the place in my life I've been searching for for several years but when I started looking for this place I was too young to be here and now I find I'm in the right place at the right time. So to everyone of you that read this and even those that don't thank you for being part of my life. I am enjoying this person I have become and I couldn't be this person without everyone of you. You have all taught me something wether you are aware of it or not so thank you. Love you all millions and millions. Now go have a lovely day or evening and enjoy the week ahead. LETS GO ENGLAND for the world cup!!!!!!!!!!! They play US this Sunday 8:30p South African time. WOOOOOO, were gonna whoop your butts US :p.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010


Sitting in the kitchen where the internet works. My throat is beginning to feel sore again and I feel exausted after a stressful week end. I have a mixture of feelings currently. Ross and I broke up on Saturday and since then I have had a lot of interesting thoughts. Occasionally I have a renewed energy with an interest in beginning to try the long list of things I have been longing to try. I feel strength seeing myself stand on my own two feet (metorphorically) while being far from the place I grew up and far from people I share close connections with. I am proud to have come to this place I stand. A place where I recognize attributes that make me wonderful and faults that I don't need to fix but accept and be aware of.

I feel as though I have a better understanding of who I am and now have the confidence to protray that to the world. I am thankful for everything I have learned in my 4months here. Truly they are some of the most important lessons I have learnt to date and I have no doubt there is still so much for me to learn.

This week I am not attempting to throw myself fully into the renewed energy I feel. Instead I let it wax and wane taking every feeling in stride. I've learned the importance of balancing myself and not throwing myself competly into any one direction. This is why I know despite how I feel this hour or in the morning I have to continue to take care of myself. Exercising will resume and I am pleased I have already lost 3lbs in a week. Yoga continues to be my saving grace. There have been times when energy has been low and I have mentally begun to crash and then I take a yoga class and feel revived and ready to tackle the next thing.

As break up goes it is bittersweet. He is a most exceptional man and I wanted to try my hardest to not let it end but truthfully he did the right thing for both of us and we will be better off not trying to continue a relationship that I believe would have drained more of our energies than buoyed them. It is always hard to adjust to change but I am resiliant and shall persue new things using my extra energy.

My various goals are to discover possible job interests, meet more new people, try new things, and keep myself fit and happy.

The job is still fine. Though the family are all lovely I don't think I'm very good at this sort of job. I know I am wonderful with children but I don't really hang out with the kids too much. I Iron and clean and drive. So I drive fine, no problems there but I'm rubbish at cleaning. I can strighten things up but I don't really understand what it means to properly clean something. I was asked today to clean the girls and Tom's bathroom and bedroom. Well I neatened up and cleaned the girls bathroom but hadnt gotten to Tom's before therapy so I thought I'll just do it when I return. Well when I got back TJ said she was dissapointed b/c she thought I was going to clean the girls bathroom and Toms...I didn't really have the heart to say, "well I did clean the girls bathroom" clearly she didn't think I had. Sighhh. I just feel like I've been repremanded more than I ought to have at this point. But I don't feel to dissapointed in myself because I am not in my area of expertise really. I suppose I should try and do everything splendidly weather I like it or not because I'm sure there is an argument that that is the grown up thing to do but honestly I think right now I'm more important than my job. Not to say I won't continue to try and do the things she asks and doesnt ask etc. I think generally my work ethic is good even when I don't care much about the job I'm just a bit more interested in using the much down time I have to help me grow and mature and learn things. I think it is a bit of a pity this job is not more challenging or interesting. It was not what I thought I was getting myself into but then there ya go. Perhaps summer will be better with the kids off. I will probably spend more time with them. All in all I don't think I'm leaving much of an impact on any of their lives. I feel like after it all TJ would say "o, once we had this Au pair called Bronwen...she was nice". Which is just fine with me.

Well I am sick and I had a full body massage today which was wonderful and well deserved but has also made me very sleepy. I honestly should have been in bed early at 1/2 9 as it is it is 1/2 10 instead and I ought to catch up on my sleep. Looks like I get to spend tomorrow waiting about for tilers or plumbers w/e becuse inevitably something is always broken in this damn house.

Monday, 3 May 2010


Well, watching the world championship snooker game right now. We have Graem Dott and Neil Robertson battling it out and you couldn't have two better contestants. This is clearly going to be a very close game and I am very excited about it :).

Ross came by for dinner on Friday the 30th and met the fam. We had a nice time and I was very pleased to have two roast chickens and two lots of potato lyonnaise come out hot and ready for dinner at 1/2 7. I also made a berry tart that was tasty and the kitchen was all clean once dinner was ready. Woohoo!

Saturday Ross n I set off for his parents in Harlow and we had a nice relaxing weekend where we sat about and didn't do very much of anything. Well Laura turned on the snooker semi final Saturday where Robertson was playing and consequently beat some bloke and that was when I got into it :p. Bbq Saturday eve then rain Sunday and a later morning start today to get back home.

Weekend before I spent at home. The Saturday was quite warm and the kids and I had a lot of fun swimming in the pool and nattering and bbqing for dinner :D. Jonnie took out the tractor to move all the summer furniture from the stables to the pool side so I got to ride on the tractor which was fun :D.

Not much of interest I am afraid. I am heading up to Manchester Thursday which I am excited about. Will be nice to see my cousins and aunties and uncles and grand parents etc!

Well, ta!

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Responsibility sucks, kids are messy and a wonderful weekend

A very long title to describe pretty much the three things I have to say.

Firstly I'm going to winge.
So no skype calls for the last month because we have been over in our internet bandwidth. Which means I don't get to talk to anyone from the states except my parents if they call me. Unless I use my cell...which is expensive...thus the winging part. My second bill (due the 24th of April) is a grand total of 70£!! That was due to a 30-40min conversation to cali...my bill is suppose to be 10£, it has yet to be 10£. Last month is was 40£ again due to Cali calls. Anyway b/c of my high phone bill I've decided to not go to London this weekend to see my boyfriend so that I can pay the bill and still put money into savings. Which is lame as I only get to see him on the weekends anyway...thus responsibilty sucks!

Onto Kids are messy....I know that sort of A) says it all and B) is rather obvious. But after two months here you get a bit tired of it. I have always worked in camps with kids. They are sooo much fun and yes a bit messy (especially if its bubble day :D) but w/e no biggie, I don't constantly clean up after them. Here TJ asks me to fold their clothes in the drawers b/c they have been tossed about. Well no sooner do I do it. Spending about 15 or so min to carefully arrange the clothes in neat piles. Shorts here, trousers here, short sleeved shirts here, etc...then do one or both of the girls come along and go "OMG, where is this one top I want"...let me pull EVERYTHING out to find it. They may bother to stuff the clothes back in drawer if you're lucky or their closet just looks like a bomb went off. AND I remember being this way. I remeber the physical pan I got when my mummy told me to clean my room up. Usually it just wouldn't happen. It literally was painful. So I understand but its soo bizarre. That and just taking 10 extra steps to put something away properly vs. leaving it on a random table or whatever. Haha...sighhh kids. They do say some hilarious stuff though.

On a more positive note the weekend was lovely. Met Ross' old friend Rhys on Friday at a birthday party. He was good fun to chat with but we blame him on me being slightly more pissed than..well not when Ross and I left. Saturday was a quiet day due to Friday night and then Saturday evening we went out to Helena's birthday at the Albernache in Trafalgar sq. She had rented a really lovely little room at the top of the stairs. I met and spoke with several new people and immensely enjoyed the canepa's that were passed about as I had failed to have proper dinner before hand. Towards the end of the evening the people that were left moved downstairs to the club area and had a large booth to our selves. Which made me feel like we were in a cave, in a nice way. Dimly lit, walls on three sides and a convex ceiling also much cooler than the room upstairs which was nice. Eventually it was just Helena, Robbie, Ross and I left and we did a b it of dancing before heading home.

Sunday was up at 9 and went with Ross to Rynes park to watch him play some footie. His team did play better than the first time I saw them unfortunately not well enough to win, but hey ho. After match we went to my cousin Julia's in chiswick and had a most wonderful lunch out in the sun. It was my favorite part of the weekend and I was pleasantly surprised to find that my other cousin Gabrielle had juggled things about so that she could come as well and meet Ross. The 5 of us had very yummy starters which consisted of meat things, toasty baguette bits with olive tapenade and etc. Then lunch was tasty lamb and really fabulous roast potato's. It was just so warm and lovely that day ad I was so pleased to be doing the introducing that time (as usually Ross is introducing me to his mates) and for family and boyfriend to get together. It was just so perfect.

Well I best get on with doing work its about 1/2 10 now...oo should go check post as well. Expecting my very first wedding invitation to arrive in the mail today :D!


Monday, 12 April 2010

I love work and weekend goodness

Right so besides ironing, vacuuming, and doing school runs sometimes my work days look like this.

Tuesday April 6th:

Woke up at reasonable hour (round 9am) and did some ironing. Amy went off to a friends at 8am and was off all day and Jonnie was at Nan and gramps. Paul and TJ both had work till the evening so it was just Meg, Tom, and I. After ironing round noon the three of us set off on a walk with the dogs. It was an absolutely beautiful day. So much sunshine and warmness it was lovely. Tom was a bit slow but Meg and I chatted quite a bit as we walked through the fields and over the hills and sties. Nothing to interesting of note except the friendly horses in a small field we pass through that followed us very closely. After we got the dogs through we all spent a moment patting them and saying our hello's.

After we got back I took the kids into Edenbridge with me and we went to the Tesco express and picked up some food bits for lunch. We came home and had grilled ham and cheese sandwich's, crisps, and ice cream outside in the garden. The three of us giggled, nattered and swung on the swings outside.

All in all it was a load of fun in the sun and I was getting paid :D...hehe I have the best job ever!

Friday I went into London and hung out with Ross' flat mate Miles as Ross was out at a dinner, where there was much drinking :p. Miles and I enjoyed pizza, chatting and watching New Moon :p.

Saturday was another beautiful day in London and Ross and I walked into Hammersmith along the river and stopped at a pub for some lunch. We managed to snag a table outside which was awesome. Too bad the food wasn't very good, o well the company and lovely weather made up for it.

Saturday evening we went to a party at Tattershall Castle which is actually a boat on the river. A friends husband was having a birthday and they had rented on of the private rooms which was really nice and had plenty of space and seating. It was low key and I mostly stuck with Ross, Helena and her b/f Robbie. Though I was brave enough to go speak to the other American there called Sam. She was from Boston and we had a lovely chat of life and things. There were bits of food to snack on and I got some things for myself...of course Ross the lil bugger stole the one piece of salami on my plate which I was about to put on a piece of toast I had just spread with blue cheese :(. And of course there was no salami left when I went back up so on Sunday I had him go to the market and get some salami for sandwich's :D....that'll learn him!

Sunday all in all was very lazy and I managed to not get dressed till 6p!! When I had to leave to come back home. hehehe.

Much 24 season one has been watched and I would be finishing it right now except the last disc is missing from the case. :(...So alas I have to wait til I'm back at Ross'.

I'd say that is all of interest right now. Kids + TJ + Dogs off to Pippin (their cottage) tomorrow and Paul off to NY,NY Wednesday. So it shall be very very quite here with just me! Hopefully I can get off to London Thursday and only spend one night here alone. This house is too big and too quite for me to want to hang around in. Will finish ironing and vacuuming by Thur afternoon and will leave a very clean house for them to come back to Sunday. Tom's g/f is having an ice skating party so The fam will come back Sunday morn instead of eve so he can get to that ;)...hehe. Even I didn't have a "b/f" till I was about 12, Tom is only 9! *eye roll*


Sunday, 4 April 2010

Sunday Roast, Colorful folk, and general awesomeness!

The family went off skiing for a week so it was pretty quite around the house. I did start off the week by exercising but that ummm....tapered off?..hehe. As these things go.

Thursday, or rather 1am on Friday Ross made it down to my place and we passed out as it was late. We didn't really start moving bout till 1 but when we did we headed into Maidstone to have a wander and see "Shutter Island" at the Odeon.

There are sort of 3 bits to Maidstone we saw. This new high street right off the House of Fraser which is built up with new shops and has stands in the middle with people selling meats, bags, and other such things. Then you come to the end and go to the left and things decline rather rapidly. Lots of dodgy looking teens standing about smoking fags taking up the whole sidewalk and cheap chain stores. So we turned around after a turn through some pretty-ish church grounds which looked onto the backs of some posh flats.

Then there was a run down mall which looked newer than the ruddy part of town but obviously older than the shiny new high street. I found a pair of aviators for 5£ so that was fab as I felt I needed a new pair :D. I also tried on a pretty-ish slutty lacy dress which was not worth 16£ but was fun to try none the less.

Afterwards we crossed the river into industrial Maidstone and found the theatre and bought our tickets. As it was only 5ish and the movie didn't start till 8 we wandered back over the river in search of a pub. We landed ourselves at the Thirsty Pig. This place looked like your typical old English building. White walls with dark wooden beams. The front door stopped at about my chin so you had to duck and step down as you went into a small room with the bar at one end. We had two pints for under 5£ so that was good and we took them up the narrow stair case to a slightly larger room where we picked a booth in a corner by some windows. There were many low running wooden beams that did not seem very even. This place in general was a bit slanty and made me think of the house Homer and friends built for Ned Flanders, teehee.

Then we moved on to a steak restaurant we had seen earlier and had some very good steaks with blue cheese dressing, yummmmmmm. Along with a bottle of very nice red. We finished with just enough time to get to the movie. I was meh about it. It was much more drama to me than Thriller and was well done but not something that I thought was riveting. Ross enjoyed it.

Afterwards we had a good laugh as we left the theatre as there were shed loads of girls "doll'd" up to go to Liquid (some god awful club that chavs go to). By doll'd up I mean dresses that barely covered anything, cheap heels that just look a bit whorish and well yea you can imagine...teehee, it was very funny people watching.

Saturday consisted of going to store to get bread for family's arrival the next day and some other things. Then I made truffles which turned out fab! I did one set each of cherry brandy, Cognac, and citrus vodka. Was lots of fun and I made them look all pretty afterwards. Then Ross and I watched "Yes Man", which was actually not bad. Then we watched "Dark Knight" while we ate frozen pizzas which we had added some extra cheese and bacon bits too. Twas much improved pizza, yum!

Sunday was a bit of a faff (is that even how you spell it?) as there was tidying to do, rhubarb crumble to make and etc. We left late needless to say by a couple of hours but made it to Ross' parents place for a lovely Sunday Roast. His mum and dad were both chatty, relaxed, and very kind. They made me feel quite at home. The rhubarb crumble turned out perfect which was grand and the chocolates I brought them were oooh'd over which was nice. As we were heading out I asked Ross' mum if she had a biscuit i might nibble on the car ride back. Well there weren't biscuits so she gave me two kit kats and then a couple of penguins (chocolate crunch things), hehe just the kind of mum I like! Then she also presented me with a tub of rocky road chocolaty goodness sweets as it twas Easter and I think that was really my favorite part of all. It made me feel looked after I suppose. Coz if I was at home my mum and dad would have given me an Easter basket which is about all the fuss we bother with any way but something I quite enjoy. You don't always think about the things your mum and dad do that you love but that is something I really appreciate. Its like getting to be a kid, having a mummy give you sweets on Easter. So it made me quite smiley the whole ride home.

It was such a good weekend with a variety of activities which created a wonderful balance. All in all I'm very happy and a bit tired now. These weekends seem to pass to quickly even if they are three days long! Sighhhhh. Loads of ironing tomorrow now that the kids are back.

Monday, 29 March 2010

A walk through Faraway Tree

Well just after I posted that blog Amy and I had a lovely natter for several hours Thursday evening. We gossiped about boys, kids at her school, and life in general. She really can be quite funny and a joy to talk with...she just has her teenage moments ;).

Fairly quiet weekend. Friday night was dinner in and a movie on the couch at the boyfriends. Saturday had a lazy start where we slowly wandered down to Cadenheads, exchanging some £ to $ along the way as Ross owed a friend from a trip to Costa Rica a year ago. We window shopped our way to the Whiskey Shop and eventually started our tasting. I would say it was an interesting experience but I didn't really enjoy any of the Whiskey. I was told that if you drink it on the rocks, your taste buds become numbed and thus the taste is slightly dulled....which makes me think the only liquor I like straight up is Tequila...meh, I'm not really all that bothered. I hadn't eaten much so I ended up not feeling well afterwards, despite not even drinking the whole "taste". We did go and get burgers at GBK and they were awesome burgers but I just ended up feeling more ill which was unfortunate.

Saturday night consisted of helping TJ get the kids ready for bed and help her grab things out of the loft for their trip. They left 7am Sunday morning and I was left to my own devices.....I had a lazy day and felt pretty lame by the end of it so I resolved to be more active the next day.

Which takes me to today. I woke up did 48 crunches, stretched for 20min took a foot ball around on the fields, then jogged around the length of the gardens. I did some ironing...but have more I need to get up to after this. Then went to town and deposited money into the bank, both into savings and checking! Woo. Then I went to Toys hill for a brisk walk.

Toys hill was really lovely and though there were no giant sized teddy bears or large soldiers walking about (Faraway Tree Reference) there were lots of bare trees and moss covered logs. I even saw a beautiful young buck prancing through the Forrest. That was a 3.5mile walk after which I cam home and ate some lunch. mmm Grilled cheese and ham sandwich w/ tomato's, I even used olive oil on the outside instead of butter, then I ate an apple. After that I took a nap and a shower.

Now it is 3p and really time I tidied up and put a movie on to do some ironing too!

Thursday, 25 March 2010

Mishaps, More Birthdays, and general merriment

Well I left off telling you about going for Dinner last Friday night.

Ross and I joined by Robbie and Helena went for steak at The Cabin in Fulham. Mmmmm, very tasty steak cooked just right (med-rare) and yummy creme brulee for pudding. Twas quite good food. The four of us chatted happily about many things over the course of several hours. I find it so nice to have mates to go out to eat with where we spend about 2hrs over our food, I feel I really get my monies worth and it is a much more enjoyable relaxing way to eat.

Saturday Ross and I just managed to get to Shammi's in Chiswick by noon only to find Suj had slept even later than us and wasn't going to arrive for another hour. Shammi then went about being such a wonderfully kind hostess and got out all sorts of things for us to nibble on. Hummus,cheese sticks, pistachios (brought back from her recent trip to Greece, mmm), fruit salad and a bottle of red wine. The food did tide Ross and I over as we were quite hungry. We chatted in her very sunny living room which was simply and tastefully furnished with a white couch and chair and a coffee table. There may have been a tv in the room but I can't remember. At any rate it was cozy and welcoming.

When Suj arrived we wondered down to a Moroccan restaurant for a leisurely inexpensive lunch. I had some savoury chicken dish that came with saffron rice. mmm.

Where Shammi's demeanour was quieter, calm, and friendly Suj was certainly quite friendly and lovely but louder and a bit brash but in a truly lovely way. I liked both of them quite a lot it was a nice lunch.

I was trying to figure out when I'd have time to bake the cookies before going to this party and in the end I decided not to squish the lunch and have Ross and I go straight to the Whiskey tasting instead of going by his place first. In the end we didn't make it to the tasting because traffic was so incredibly bad the bus we got on moved about 2 blocks in 10min! So we walked the two miles home and managed to call Cadenheads and have them reschedule to the following Saturday.

On our wonder back through Chiswick we stopped by my cousins and had a lovely chat with her husband Chris, she unfortunately had to be at work due to all the strikes (She works in the offices for BA). After that Ross and I kept wondering and attempted to find me some cane syrup so I could make pecan bars but to no avail *head shake*. We did get a bottle of Mcellans for his friend.

Got back to the flat, baked cookies, the snowball cookies tasted yuck so they got tossed but the chocolate chip ones were ok. We got all ready to go and ended up forgetting both cookies and Whiskey *eye roll*.

The party was small, there were about 6-10 of us in Ed's flat. Mostly a bunch of rowdy boys (and by rowdy keep in mind these are all techies so not Frat boy rowdy) with beers or gin martini's. Remind me never ever to drink gin ever again, it is by far the foulest thing ever there is no redeemable quality in it at all!

At some point a large block of ice was plunked on the table and alcohol luge began...I'm amazed my friends from California seem to be very unaware of this drinking past time. Basically you carve a path through this massive block of ice and one person stands at the top of the slope and pours w/e down and the drinker is on the other end open mouthed in anticipation. So bizarre but ok.

All in all it was a fun party and I enjoyed meeting Ross' friends and nattering with them.

Not much went on Sunday, Brixton (Ross' football team) lost 3-1 but they did play a better game then the week before.

Wednesday was Pauls birthday and we all went back to the Royal Oak for dinner and Pauls parents joined us which was nice. I was a bit quieter this time and had the same thing for dinner as the week before but it seems Thursdays cook is better than Wednesdays, ahh cest la vie.

Last thing to note is OMG what is with teenagers being SO incredibly oblivious?! Only interested in putting in minimum effort into things like cleaning etc, and generally being a bit rude? Haha, don't get me wrong Amy is a lovely girl she is just 12 going on 13 come November. Yesterday she wanted some ice cream because she was starving and this is what she did. Took a spoon out of the drawer and a bowl out of the cupboard. By the time she got to the freezer her hands were full so she put the spoon in her mouth and then grabbed the ice cream out of the freezer. She then proceeded to scoop the ice cream out of the container with the spoon that had just been in her mouth!!!!! I am SO guilty of eating out of the carton and I do try and tell my parents if i have coz it grosses my dad out. Normally im not a germ freak, I really could care less most of the time but this is a house with 7 people and I'm not all buddy buddy with everyone yet so I just couldn't believe she did that. Her sis Meg would've been really grossed out. Then she leaves the emptied bowl in her fathers study and decides to go watch tv. Then this morning she decides to brush her hair in the kitchen!! She out of all the kids has the WORST lice problem. So I ask her to go brush her hair in the bathroom..TWICE and she doesn't seem to understand whats the big deal with her brushing her lice filled head in the kitchen where all the food is. EW.

So to my Mother and Father THANK YOU for putting up with my obnoxious teenagedom! Mum and dad you are amazing for doing ALL the laundry, ironing,washing up,cooking, and general cleaning. I seriously have the most amazing parents and feel totally spoiled....sorry the thank you is rather late in coming but yea that is a lot of work you two did and I really should have pitched in! Thanks a million!

That is all for now, teenagers make me exasperated, I've never had to live with one before. Jonnie still can come up with a hundred and one excuses NOT to do homework, sighh. Though and I quote "Once I got started it wasn't so bad"..*eye roll* DUH!...My poor mum only tried to tell me to take things one at a time for YEARS. Being a parent is exasperating when you have a teenager. They never listen, they are always right, and are generally rather self centered...hehe...don't be confused I still love all these kids. They have been very well brought up and are lovely each in their own way its puberty that is a bit of a damper :p.

Right, phew that was long. Welp I'm heading off to London on Friday but for a much quieter weekend. May do a Sunday roast at the pub with Laure, we'll see.

Ta xxB

Thursday, 18 March 2010

Tipsy Thursday

Hello all, I'm feeling fine after three glasses of red from the local pub. But let us go back to the beginning.

first off the car didn't end up going till today at 3pm! But it is expected to be back in a week, phew!

TJ as per usual ran around a bit mad trying to get everything done but it worked in the end. I made reservations at the pub down the road for 7 at 7 :D. I got lovely Moules Frites and a glass of house red. Which turned into three glasses. Meg opened some very lovely birthday gifts! Never have I seen so many. sweat shirt, sweat pants, polo,skirt,tights,jewlery boxes, tiffeny's heart necklace etc, but I have to say she well deserved it.

I truly enjoed getting to go out with the family. It was so nice to sit round a table with them and chat! As the evening ended I noticed a full glass of wine still in the bottle as Paul went to pay so I asked TJ if it was alright if I had it and she said yes, please do. Then Tom piped in and said "don't get drunk Bronwen:, the cheeky monkey! hehehe, I didn't though :p. Very yummy food and we all had a nice time.

On the way back Meg leaned over to her brother Jonnie as she was tired and he put his arm round her and stroked her hair, such sweet siblings these guys are, never seen any like them! and once home Tom laid on Jonnie on the kitchen couch. I crouched near them on the floor petting Lenny then Lenny turned round and knocked me over! Well Jonnie thought that was funny and had a laugh so I started squeezing his sides which made him quite giggly and he surrendered, MUWAHAHAHA!

It was great fun. This is a very good family!

I am also SO excited for my weekend. Sometime tomorrow after TJ's car comes back I'm heading to London. Will potter round a bit get ready and meet up with Ross. We are having dinner out with his lovely friend Helena. Then Saturday we are baking some cookies and having lunch with his friend Shammi. Then at 5p we are going to a Whiskey tasting in center of London which I am sooo looking forward to!!! It started out as Ross getting a bottle of whiskey for a friend as a thank you gift and I've now turned it into a whole tasting which I'm very excited about as I enjoy Whiskey but don't know a lot about it. After that we are going to Ed's birthday party at his flat where I get to meet more friends. Sunday not much of a lie in as Ross has an away game of football, hopefully they tie this time!...I can't hope for a win, that seems a bit too high of expectations :p.

All in all I'm looking forward to being with Ross and trying/seeing new things! I love being near London its the best city ever!!!


Tuesday, 16 March 2010

How is it Wednesday?!

The days seem to disappear over here, literally!

Tomorrow is Meg's 11th birthday so tonight I'm making red velvet cupcakes w/ cream cheese frosting for her to take to school. I can only hope it works out as I do not have Dutch Processed coco *eye roll*. I tend to have big fears that I'm going to royally fuck it all up as I am in a kitchen I don't know and a country where ingredients are called different things and etc. Sighh.

I also loose the car today and I hope it is back in 10days time when the family head off to go skiing otherwise I am going to be stranded! TJ one morning accidentally while backing up rubbed the passenger door against her Mercedes. The Mercedes was fine, but the Fiesta now needs a whole new door! sighhhh.

I have lost a half stone while being here and recently put 1lb and 1/2 back on, this weight thing is so damn fickle! I should exercise proper then it'd go away...but I'm lazy. :(.

Not so much other news today, don't plan on going out for St. Patties day, barely even remembered it was today, thank you facebook people for your updates and reminding me :p.

Right should work or maybe nap :p.


Sunday, 14 March 2010

The Weekend

poo, I'm really knackered now! (Sunday eve here).

So Saturday I got up about 9ish, went to town to post a card for my mummy, buy some ingredients to make this cheesecake and that was all.

Came home made cake with just enough time. Then I picked Jonnie up from the bus stop in forrest row and we had a nice drive home. chatted a bit, normally he is very tired after a 12hr day and crash's in the car so was nice to talk. We got home and I put in a duck to bake for his tea and then checked incoming flights to Gatwick. Amy was coming back from Jersey and I needed to pick her up, of course we had mis placed the itinerary so we didn't know exactly which time but I had heard someone say three and TJ said she thought it was between 2 and 3 and when I checked arrivals I saw one plane coming into the North Terminal at 1/2 2 so I thought great and left at 1/2 2 to get her.....I then waited at north Terminal for an hour to discover she was actually on the 4p that landed at south terminal. Grumble grumble. I'd agreed to pick her and Jonnie up so it was just a bit unfortunate but I felt a bit anxious and frustrated because I had been hoping to have dinner with Ross at his place before we went to the show. O well, left airport at 1/2 4 and was finally heading home. Got a lil lost on m23 and stayed on it instead of getting onto m25, sighhh at least it wasn't a huge inconvenience.

We got back to the duck out of the oven and carved up so Amy and I both ate which was awesomely yummy as I was soo hungry and had hardly eaten at that point. By 6p I got to head off to London. :D. Ross met me at Victoria station and we headed to soho theatre. We sat in the bar and each had a drink then wondered up the stairs to wait in a que to be let in. "The Studio" as the theatre called it looked a bit like a dingy class room but at least the performer Russell Kane was far from dingy! He was upbeat, with excellent gesticulation and lots of funny quips! A bit did go over my head but he was brilliant and Ross really enjoyed himself which well made up for anything I did not get.

We got out around 9, it was just a quick 50min performance, and wondered back toward his flat. It was so nice outside we picked up a bottle of red and some dark chocolate and sat out on his roof terrace and enjoyed the view. Twas lovely.

Sunday morning we were up at 9 which was really no shame as it was sooo GORG outside! We headed over to the football pitch with his flat mate Miles and his girlfriend Laura. Laura and I sat on the side lines and tried to encourage poor Brixton to victory which sadly did not happen. We did get in some good shouting and I even called one of the players on the opposing side a wanker because quite frankly the lot of them were! Big cheaters! Pity the ref had skipped out on them last min as it was an important game, sighhhh.

After game we went to Fulham to a Chinese place to eat sooooo much dim sun with Ross' friend Helena who was quite lovely. I ate so much food I almost fell asleep at the table, but then I got out into the fresh air and we walked a bit and I felt better. Saw a very cute Audrey Hepburn dress at a charity shop for 20£ ooooo, but it was in the window and I was told it was coming down on Tue so didn't get to try it on, maybe next weekend.

All in all a lovely time in London, with Ross and meeting his friends. Reallllly looking forward to next weekend when I get to spend fri-sun in London with Ross going to friends birthday parties, a football match, and general relaxing. Ahhhhhh.

Welp, fam is home now. They were out when I got back AND had left most of the cheesecake un eaten :(. Usually if I leave any sweets about for a day in this house hold they are gone when I get back. Ah well :(.


Thursday, 11 March 2010

Why I love Kids!

Right, today I went to pick up the kiddo's from School. Amy is away in Jersey so just Meg, Tom, and their friend James. So on the ride home this conversation transpires.

James is going to the netball tournament referred to as IAPS this Saturday. Meg will be playing as her team has done quite well and qualified.

So Tom says; to everyone really in response to James talking about going to IAPS

"You're also going to hang out with your 5th best friend"

James(rather incredulously): "5TH!? That is placing yourself rather high don't you think?"

Tom: "fine well 15th"

James: That is still rather high"

Tom: "Well 25th"

James: " You do think a lot of yourself don't you?"

Tom:" 50th then"

etc...Tom ends with "150th"

James: "Well really you are like 25th, there are a lot of other girls in front of you mate"

Me: "You clearly have your priorities in order"

James: "Yup"

Too funny.....really had to try not to laugh. Then the day before Amy was teasing Tom a bit about a girl he likes called Liv.

Tom: "Well its not just emotional"

Amy: "O, so is it physical then as well?"

Tom: "I don't even know what that means"

I LOVE these kids!!! Reminder Tom is 9, James and Meg are both 10 (almost 11, they were born the same day in the same hospital in the same room 15min apart) and Amy is 12.

Too funny, can not wait to have kids of my own and here them say things like this...I remember I was just as bad. I believe it was 6th grade when Jason Roos "asked me out" via a note (which yes I still have) that said "would you go out with me? Check one" and there was a yes box and no. I'm pretty sure if memory serves correctly I went home later that day and proudly (and loudly) announced to my parents that I had a boyfriend! haha, ooo dear *head shake*.

Otherwise uneventful day. Saturday a couple of pick ups then taking Ross out somewhere fun..can't say here though coz its a surprise ;)!

Still love going into London, all the old architecture and diversity is positively thrilling! So happy to be here, I really love driving about England in my manual car. My goal now is to get a bit more organized...but I'm procrastinating by writing a blog :p. Need to clean up my room..there are bed clothes at the end of my bed and money on my table. Need to get everything in order! No slacking on that budget! already have some plans for my monies in the future. Life is so exciting :D!

xx B

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Bowling,partying, and general update

Phew, its been awhile. Sorry bout that. Anyhow Thursday runs worked out just fine in the end. Friday my plan was to wake up, see kids off, finish chores, make cake, nap, drive to friends party in Rochford...not quite how it happened.

I ended up going to Brighton to watch Amy play in a net ball Tourny. It was a pity her team was not doing well at all. So TJ and I only stayed a couple of hours. The town of Brighton did look quite lovely. There was a nice looking pier with carnival type rides, beautiful blue sea, and an Arabian looking Palace which was gifted to Brighton sometime back.

TJ and I arrived home round two. I then drove into Edenbridge to get passport renewl forms for the kids and some ingriedents to make a cheesecake. Then I spent the next hour or so till 1/4 after 4 making sure mum was all ready to go when the taxi arrived to take her to Heathrow. She did in the end have everything, BUT we got a last minuet call to come pick Amy up at the school because the friend that was going to take her had to leave and Amy was not back from Brighton yet. Poohy, there went my hour nap.

I finally left at 7:30 and dropped Amy at the neighbors. Thankfully I got to my friends with out getting lost and I drove into town with her and her sis. We met up with some of her friends at a pub where we had before drinks. Then we went to her favorite club called Mayhem. I did dance a little which I was really looking forward to doing but I was sooo knackered I actually sorta napped in the club...ooops. At least it meant I was awake when we left at 10 to 2am. So I got us home safe and sound and then She and I curled up in her bed and nattered. All in All it was a pretty good birthday, I'd say :).

Saturday ended up being loads of fun. Got the kids from their various places and made them grilled ham sandwich's, Meg and I had cheese on ours but Tom and Amy do not like cheese...so bizarre to me. After that I had a lil nappy for 20min and then I drove the four of us to Tumbridge Wells to the entertainment plex. We went to the Bowlplex but they had no lanes for an hour and a half! As luck would have it the Cinema was playing Alice in Wonderland only 20min after we arrived. So we reserved a lane for 7ish and went and watched the movie. The kids enjoyed the movie...and the sweets I got them ;). Then we bowled a game where Amy won quite nicely, score of 108! Then we drove home.

I have to say I was so thrilled to be out with the three of them. Its not something I've gotten to do before but it was a lot of fun bonding with them.

Once home Amy was knackered coz she had gotten up so early so she was off to bed fairly quickly after dinner. Meg, Tom and I curled up on the living room sofa, me in the middle and watched Hotel for Dogs. Fairly awful movie but wonderful time cuddling with the lil ones. I fed them both ice cream for pud after tea...my, my all those sweets!

Sunday we didn't go out as a tutor came to help them out. But that night I roasted a chicken which I was quite proud of! We have no stove so I had to do microwave new potato's and microwave carrots. Which I put in a dish surrounding the chicken. It looked quite pretty in the end. Though when it came to carving I had no clue what I was doing. Meg assured me that they did not mind in the least :). She is such a sweetheart.

Monday I dropped the kids off at the Layby and then procrastinated. That night Jonnie came back from staying at his friends over the weekend and he was knackered so he went to bed pretty quickly! Tuesday I took Amy to Gatwick where she was going on a net ball tour with school to Jersey. That went smoothly, and afterwards I went in to East Grinstead to get on a monthly plan with 02 instead of pay as you go. So was pleased to have that sorted! Then got home to a sparkly clean kitchen, Thanks Agnes! and got to the ironing and putting away of clothes.

Mum and dad were back round 2ish and they went to get the kids from school and then whisked them off to get passport pictures taken. Meanwhile I went and got Jonnie from bus stop and brought him home were we all had chicken pie and baked beans for tea :).

Now that I have been here a bit I'm quite comfortable with the roads and don't really get lost anymore. I understand what direction I'm going in when I see towns labeled like Croyden, Tumbridge Wells etc. I know where the B269, or A264 etc will take me. I do have more of a routine at the house but things have been a it chaotic what with vacations and birthday parties etc! But we manage with hardly any issues at all.

I'm really enjoying my time here. I just feel like everything is perfect right now. I'm really enjoying being back in England and I think when I was in Cali I was restless to do something and to be active again and to just get out. So I'm really happy now. It is hard not having my best gal pals around because I have so much to say but at least my wonderful boyfriend lets me tell him everything so I'm not in need of nattering more than I already do :).

Well this is quite long enough. Hope I filled you in enough mum..o and anyone else that may possibly read this! :p Almost time for me to get up!


Wednesday, 3 March 2010

busy busy busy!

Well it has been hectic this week! Mum and dad leave Friday afternoon for a little weekend skiing. In the meantime there is a Thursday (tomorrow) netball tournament for Meg in Brighton. Which means I get up early (6am) and drive Jonnie and his friend to the bus stop in the morning. Then there is some to do in the afternoon of whos driving whom or picking up where but I expect that shall be figured out.

Today was lots of ironing and tidying up so that it is all cleared away for when mum and dad leave. That went pretty well. Then I spent hours getting a bank account. Driving first to Edenbridge first to find there was no teller there that day to assist me and she was all booked for tomorrow. So turn around drive to Sevenoaks and go to the bigger branch. Wait 45min for available teller then 45min to open bank account. I have to say I left with a big smile on my face. The fellow that helped me was very upbeat and friendly. I really felt taken care of and not like he was resiting something he was told to learn out of a manual. I feel like if I really have some problem I can call him up (he gave me his number) and speak with him and he'll ACTUALLY help me solve the problem. And he'll care! I already like Barclay's about 10billion times better than the ones in America. for 5£ a mo I get mobile phone insurance AND I get a one year warrnty on ALL eletronic purchaes more than 25£ regardless of what the store or company gives me. Plus the first 300£ I overdraft there is no fee. Now isn't that nice and friendly?

Enough about banks. Friday, no afternoon pickups coz I get to go shake my booty with my friend Laura for her 20th birthday out in Rochford! Very excited to have a night out, meet with her friends and then dance,dance dance!

Saturday I have to head back in the morning to do some pick ups and then in the evening we are all planning to go bowling! weee, me an 4 kiddo's to the lanes! Really looking forward to that! Then they have a tutor Sunday for a couple of hours.

Monday and Tuesday will be fairly regular aside from getting up early to do all the morning driving. O wait Tuesday Amy flys to Jersey to a sports thing so I get to drive her to Gatwick. Wee. Then mum and dad back Tuesday afternoon and things resume to a normal easy pace :D

Then Wednesday I get to go see Alice in Wonderland in IMAX in London!!! woohoo. Very excited.

That is all for now. I've got the school runs down, I pretty much have the house work down but I'm still finding a routine. Also things seem to change a lot around here right now. Ski season is a very busy one for this family :D. I imagine in a month or so things will quiet down a bit more.

All in all I love it very much and this family is a lot of fun. The children are all lovely. Spending more time with Amy. She seems to be gravitating towards me as I stand about doing chores. So we have started chatting a bit more. All the kids are curious and ask lots of questions.

Kisses to you Cali mates. Miss you loads!


Thursday, 25 February 2010

Work thus far

Well, I started doing school runs. Which at first was a bit nerve racking but yesterday I managed to pick Jonnie up from school and then pick his friend up from the bus stop later in the evening with no problems! woohoo!

It was a quiet evening yesterday because TJ's dad came by to help Jonnie with his up coming physic's exam so I was not on homework duty. Which btw frustrated me the day before because I spent about 45min getting Jonnie to answer two simple questions while I was running about trying to help Meg with her homework as well. But once I sat down with him and read the questions aloud he started writing down answers real quick. I shan't give up, I just have to figure out how I can keep him focused.

Today was a slow day. Very few things to iron and put away so I was done with chores in about an hour. TJ has been running about all morning driving everyone everywhere and has now gone off to pick up Paul's mum to get her dance shoes so I've not seen her for hours. Its actually a pity would like some more work, I'm not much for sitting about now that I have started. Its why I'm on here updating a blog :p.

All in all I've ended each day this week knackered and elated! I'm still challenging myself with all the learning I'm doing, mostly with the driving and accomplishing that makes me really happy. I'm so ecstatic to be working with children again and moving around. I made the right decsion coming to England and I couldn't be more thrilled!!

well, that's all for now.
Ta, xxB

Monday, 22 February 2010

Day one (of work)

Well hello. Lets see if this time around survives longer than the last time.

Most of you already know the basics but lets review shall we? :).

Left: February 9th from SFO and flew across the states and the pond to London Heathrow.
Arrived: February 10th, met the family I am nannying for. Tom 9, Meg 10, Amy 12, Jonnie 15. And Mum TJ and dad Paul.

Then the WHOLE family went on vacation for 10 days and didn't arrive back till Sunday the 21st.

While they were away I made friends with the nanny down the road; Laure. She is quite sarcastic and lovely. I'm still getting to know her but we're mates already :). I traveled into London a few times, only once by car which was a terrible error in judgement as I spent about 2hrs driving round and round London trying to find the Wandsworth Bridge. *head shake* S'alright made it in the end to my mates and recovered. I also ate lunch with my wonderful cousin Gabrielle last Saturday at Oxo Tower. It was quite posh and very tasty. I was so pleased to catch up with her and she offered me much sage advice :D. O and I drove to Rochford the first Saturday I was here to catch up with my mate Laura who'd I met in good ol Sardo (Sardegna). We had a fun time shopping/ fixing my phone and nattering away.

Ok back to Sunday when the Fam arrived. Gear was placed all over the kitchen, the iron was turned on and the clothes were laid about the floor to be sorted for the laundry. It was noisy and hectic and I loved it. I learned how to iron Paul's nice button downs, helped put clothes away, and generally ran about.

Monday I was up at 7am and woke lil Tom up. Then I hung out with the girls in their mums room while they looked through a magazine. We pointed out the different things we liked on each page, then I sent them off to get dressed etc. Despite Tom being the last to wake up he is the first ready and down to eat breakfast. As for the girls they come down with just ten minutes to eat and put shoes on but they made it before mum arrived back.

After they left I tidied up the kitchen and then had a lovely sit down with TJ where we talked about what kind of routine I'll have, what she expects and then about life in general. It was nice chatting and getting to know her and her family better. Then we ironed a bit and put some clothes away.

I had a few hours off before school runs so I napped a bit then got up and went with her to get the kids. We brought them home dropped them off then went to get Jonnie from his friends. Mon/Fri his friends mum picks them up and takes them back to her house. We couldn't go the usual way because the roads were awfully flooded, worse than I'd ever seen!

Back at home we had left over stew for dinner but Jonnie wanted chicken which had to defrost then cook. He of course insisted on waiting downstairs for it instead of doing his homework. By the time everyone is done with dinner the kids start homework no problem. Jonnie is just now eating. Finally I get him up stairs for homework where he cleans his room for 10minutes so he has a desk to sit at and then homework begins...at 9:15pm. He struggles to write bullet points for a debate. He is pro day schools, the opposers are pro boarding. So we discuss pro's and cons as I try and pull out of him what he knows as he has done both. In then end he gets some good ideas down, he definitely is a smart kid just has a hard time with homework. Not unlike someone I know ;).

Today (Tuesday the 23rd) Jonnie and I are going to try and start homework much earlier and I think this weekend we may tackle his messy room! He is quickly becoming my lil favorite. As for the two girls I'm still getting to know them. Its taking a bit longer to bond with them but this is only week one :D.

Right, I have ironing and cleaning to do! TA